You have prepared your whole life for this, you
ensured you were at every class, you made sure you paid close attention, took
notes and even asked questions when you're uncertain about a topic. Days
leading up to the major exam, you weren't that nervous, you tried and make all
the necessary preparations, you reviewed all your jottings, you go through all
the past papers you can get your hand on and you and your friends quizzed each
other for hours. Now the big day has arrived, the day of reckoning is at hand.
You wonder to yourself, "Will I pass or fail?"
You take your seat at the examination table and the
paper is placed in front of you, you quickly scan the questions and your heart
skips a million beats and reaches your mouth, your bowel does the unthinkable.
You hear the examiner says, "You may begin". You write your
name on the paper and you sit and stare at the paper wondering where to start,
you look around and everyone is writing except you. After about thirty minutes
you finally compose yourself and you give it your best shot before you know it
you hear, "Five minutes to go", you quickly scribble what you
can on the paper.
"Times up, all pens down!" You are
sweating from head to toe pondering, "What did I just do, my teacher is
going to be so disappointed." When the results come you were
right, your greatest fears have been realized. You failed you missed the pass
mark by only 1%.
Does the teacher loves me or loves me not?
All those years of preparation and struggles came down
this. You walk with your head low as you turn over in your mind what excuses
can you possibly, how are going to validate the outcome. Then it hit you,
"Maybe I have not been as intuned as I thought I was. The days when I
skipped the lessons for only a few hours to spend it with friends, the nights
when I was to read a few chapters I opt for some Netflix and Facebook. The
times I was to meet up with my classmates to participate in community service
activities and I put it off for personal errands........... I'm such a
disappointment. How am I going to face family and friends, enemies even? But
most importantly how will I face my teacher. The person who spent his time
ensuring that I had all the tools needed to sit this exam. The person who gave
up so much made family sacrifices, left his family to invest his time and
energy in me."
You meet face to face with the last person in the
world who you want to see; this encounter, however, was inevitable. You muster
all the courage you can find and you dig deep within the bowels of your soul to
find the right words to answer the questions that will be asked of you. You
begin, "Teacher I have done soo much work, I was never late, I paid all
the class fees and ensured that I had all the texts. Teacher I have done
what you told me to do, I spend so many hours sitting in class
listening to the lectures. I just don't know how I failed this exam. I
can't really and truly identify why I failed."
And then I heard the most shocking thing, ‘You
were never a part of my class; depart from Me, you who practice
lawlessness!’ Then reality kicked in, all my misgivings and
shortcomings flash across my mind. I have failed, my false sense of security
and placing trust in my own strength has cost the greatest fortune
all-my eternity.
I now realized that like the writer of Proverbs I
should have, "Trusted in the Lord with all my heart, and did not lean
on my own understanding" and
"love God so that all things work together for good, for those
who are called according to his purpose".
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