Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Engines whining at a high pitch, sounds of honking horns and deafening shouts were all that could be heard from miles on end in Coolie Town. The air was charged, people were in a jubilant mood and excitement was all around. It was like Christmas had arrived early; it was a day most people in the district were anticipating, with the exception of the Black family.

Never had anyone detested a day like this and the days leading up to this grand finale. They had brought no peace in the Black's home. The nights were used for numerous debates, continuous name-calling, and heartache. This was especially true for the middle child, Adrianna who lived with her mother, Patsy, stepfather Peter, and her two brothers.

Adrianna had treasured quiet days in Coolie Town, sitting under the large tamarind tree at the front of her yard; listening to music and taking in the view of the lush green hills that were around.  This had given her a sense of peace and a means of escape from all the family drama. However, for the past few weeks, all this changed. The streets were now filled with people adorned in all sorts of colours and unwanted sounds were the order of the day. 

         “Adrianna, you need to come and see all the excitement!” Her mother shouted.

           “Not interested, mother!” She yelled from the safe haven of their bathroom.

Since an election had been called in Coolie Town, the whole district seems as if it has been turned upside down. Even the animals seem to have caught the election fever; with the constant barking, mooing and clucking. The greatest change, however, was among Adrianna’s family members, who had changed like the weather.

“Adrianna, Adrianna?” her mother called again. “Get out here right now, we need to show our support." 

Adrianna took her own sweet time, moving like a snail on a sunny day. She seldom liked to disobey her mother but all the election drama was just too much. By the time Adrianna reached the front of the yard, the motorcade had already passed.

“Pickney yuh didn’t hear mi calling yuh?” her mother said.

“Listen here. In a Dis fambly wi nah miss out pon any of di benefits dis election ave to offa.  Yuh understand me? Since Peta had dat terrible cyar accident, yuh kno dat things ave been really difficult and wi caan hardly mek ends meet. Di Browns build a shop cause a di laas election, wi a guh duh just as well as dem or even betta.”

In fear of starting an argument with her mother, Adrianna simply shook her head. Her mother had become someone she could hardly recognize. Where was the woman who would say, “Adrianna, honesty is di best policy. Pickney, yuh must ave integrity. Speak di truth always cost it wat it will.”

“I will do anything to get my family out of this poverty. Anything.” Patsy thought to herself.   

Later on in the afternoon more vehicles passed by their house and her mother was right there to ‘show her support’, this time for the other party.

At around five o’clock Adrianna started to prepare herself to attend a Youth Meeting. She always enjoyed same as the Youth Pastor made learning about God’s principles very interesting.

"Where do you think you are going?" Patsy shouted at Adrianna.
"Remember this evening I have a Youth Meeting?"Adrianna replied. "It starts like in half an hour. You said I could go, remember? Plus I have to be there, I am the new secretary."
Suddenly, Peter walked into the room and said, “Not if I have anything to do with it. Tonight is the town square meeting and we are all going; whether you like it or not."
“Do I really have to go?  I'm not even old enough to vote! I'm just sixteen!” Adrianna protested shaking her head, “Mr. P nobody is going to miss me if I don’t go!”

‘Mr. P’ was what Adrianna had called Peter since the day he married her mother. She just was not able to call him ‘daddy’ since her biological father had died when she was six years old; she can still remember everything about him.

"Listen, little girl, I’m in no argument, you are coming to the square," Peter said angrily, "You are a part of this family, so you have no choice. We are all going and that’s final.”
Adrianna could not believe what was happening. She was so upset and decided she was going to the Youth meeting one way or the other.

Upon arriving at the square there was hardly any space to move one’s feet; party decorations were on every building, tree, and utility pole. People could also be seen for miles standing on the streets in their purple and black shirts as they anticipate all that would happen at this meeting.

Adrianna waited for the right opportunity to slip away from her parents, but the opportunity never came.

On the stage, which at the center of the square, the political representatives were singing and dancing to their party song and the crowd sang and danced along. Everyone was caught up in the thrill of the moment. Each time Adrianna tried to move however, her mother held on to her hand as if she knew her intention of running away.

Adrianna felt so uncomfortable being there, she couldn’t wait for it to be over. During the meeting, all kinds of promises could be heard echoing from the microphone, and with each utterance, there were frantic shouts from the crowd.

“Santa Claus will come early this year,” stated one of the political representatives. “So remember on Election Day put your X beside the crown”.

 At the end of the meeting the people left in high spirits as they all look forward to the fruitful days ahead.  “Yuh hear dat Peta? Wi mus get fi wi. Mek sure yuh deh deh wen dem givin out tings.” Patsy declared.

“But of course Patsy, an if dem nuh cum tru wid de promis yuh knuw ow Election Day a go.”  Peter replied.

“I can’t believe you two, what are you both talking about, I thought voting was to make a change for the community and not for personal gain.”

“Yuh can say anyting pickney, yuh no si ow tings a run dem yah days, every man haffi look out fi im self.” Peter answered, “Besides why do you think so many people come out tonight? Do you think it is for the love of the party? No, it is for what they can get out of this election.”

“Johnny, make sure that you talk with the big man in charge and tell him how hard you are working for his party to win," Patsy told Adrianna’s older brother.

“Mek im also grease yuh palm.  Tell im wheel widout grease can’t run.” Peter whispered.

On their way back home they continued to discuss their next move if the Crown Party did not fulfill its promises.  Adrianna just shook her head and rolled her eyes, because she could not believe what she was hearing. 

“Don’t worry about anything. I’m linking up with a man from the Anchor party if the Crown Party doesn’t come through, that way we can’t lose.” Johnny declared.

Adrianna felt like she was a part of an extortion ring, she felt so ashamed of her family and the way they have been behaving, especially her parents. Ever since an election date was announced they have thrown all their morals through the window.

“What you are all doing is wrong!” Adrianna interrupted. “God isn’t pleased. Last week, I learned about a man by the name of Daniel, he lived right and God provided for him.”

 “What does that have to do with this Adri?” Johnny questioned.

“Everything, Daniel was blameless in the sight of his peers.  Daniel chapter 6 tells us that ‘Daniel was an example among his leaders and co-workers because of his honesty and hard work; so the king planned to put him in charge of a whole kingdom. They even tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct, but they could find no corruption in him because he was trustworthy and neither corrupted nor negligent.”

“What does a fairy-tale story have to do with us and what we are doing? Get to the point; you’re boring me to death.” Ben her younger brother yawned.

“My point is this, mother, Mr. P, brothers, we need to play fair. Don’t let the community people have bad things to say about us. Like Daniel, let no corruption be found in us. Please, I’m begging don’t take anything from either party. Don’t let them have terrible things to say about our family.” Adrianna pleaded.

“The parties want to win, so we are just helping out a situation. Everyone is doing it; all of us will benefit when the time comes.  By the way, who appointed you the family lawyer?” Johnny hissed. “Eva since dat Pasta put yuh unda di wata, yuh act all holy an righteous, like yuh are betta dan wi. Well, yuh are not likkle sista.”

“Johnny, me getting baptised is not up for discussion at the moment,” Adrianna sighed, “It is not lawful to be meddling in the election.  More importantly, God can help us not those men with sweet words. Daniel remained faithful and did no wrong in the eyes of God and man; he was well taken care of.”

“You are not making any sense," Johnny remarked.

“If we don’t stop this deception bad things will happen. Daniel 6:24 tell us that, men who had plotted against Daniel were thrown into a lions' den, along with their wives and children; the lions crushed all their bones.”

“You two need to stop!” Peter shouted.  “Adrianna, not another word; your mother and I are tired of hearing about the rubbish they teach you. All of it is a fairy tale; God can’t help us right now. Faith is not going to pay the bills, it not going to send you and your brothers to school and it certainly is not going to put food on the table.”  

“Look here baby, you need to understand, things change, forget about all the things that I have ever told you. This God business isn’t working out, this is the new gospel- thou shall hustle to get wat yuh want. If yuh don’t, dog nyam yuh supper.” Her mother stated. “What you need to do is follow our lead.  When your father gives you the packages to take to the vendor at your school gate or tells you to do something, don’t argue Adrianna, just do it. We are doing this for all us.

Adrianna simply sigh, it was as if she was fighting a losing battle; reasoning with her family was like kicking your feet against pricks. That night she prayed earnestly, petitioning God on her family’s behalf.

-------

Two weeks before the election, Coolie Town was like a circus. The members of the Black family were major performers, with all sorts of movement in and out of their yard. They went by so fast that Adrianna could hardly catch her breath. Between school activities and constant arguments with her family, she was extremely exhausted.

One afternoon when Adrianna got home from school the house was quiet for the first time in a long while.  She then remembered that Peter and her brothers would be attending a political rally in the adjoining district of Shoe Walk; her mother was out helping with preparations for the final leg of campaigning.  Adrianna had the house all to herself.

At bedtime, however, Adrianna had the most unsettling feeling ever. The atmosphere felt heavy, and anxiety started to kick in. She went to her speak with her mother, but she was nowhere to be found.  She just couldn’t shake the feeling, so she decided to listen to her favourite songs until she fell asleep.

Early the next morning Adrianna was awakened by the sound of her mother’s voice shouting, “No! No!” She quickly got out of bed and found her mother on the living room floor crying uncontrollably.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Adrianna asked.

“Your father and brothers were in an accident on their way back from Shoe Walk last night.” Boots, one of their neighbours replied, “I don’t know what happen, but I heard that they’ve been taken to the hospital.”

 “Mi husband, whoa, mi pickney dem!” Patsy wailed.

Adrianna suddenly felt like her whole world was falling apart. But at that moment she decided that she had to be strong for her mother. She made a promise to herself, “I will not shed a tear.”

Boots then volunteered to take them to the hospital. By the time they got outside, people were in the yard like grains of sand. They all wanted to know what happened; all sorts of questions were floating in the air, but neither Patsy nor Adrianna had the answers.

-----

On their way to the hospital, Adrianna prayed that God would work out the situation and that He would give them the strength to face whatever is ahead. She tried to reassure her mother that God would work things out, but Patsy would have none of it.

“Right now is not the time for your Nancy stories and foolishness!” Patsy shouted angrily.

“But..........”

 Before she could finish her sentence, there was a loud bang.  The vehicle in which they were traveling collided with a van going in the opposite direction. Everyone was shaken and in a state of shock and disbelief. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

 When they eventually arrived at the hospital, the crowd was so thick they could hardly find a space to park. It took awhile, but they eventually reached the ward escorted by police officers.

“My name is Sergeant Laing and this is Officer Panton, we are from the Full Circle Division.  Mrs. Black we would like to ask you some questions in relation to your husband Peter Black and sons Ben and Johnny.”  Sergeant Laing remarked.

Patsy simply nods her head. Adrianna could hardly absorb what the officers were saying. They said that her brothers and stepfather were involved in some form of election scam and owed large sums of cash to persons in Shoe Walk.

 “Could all these accusations be true? They sounded like lines from a movie. But weren’t the signs there; weren’t they acting strange for the past few weeks. Why didn’t she try harder to convince them to stop? Why didn’t her mother do something?” Adrianna thought to herself.

“Lies, all of what you are saying are lies, none of it is true!” Patsy declared.

 “As a result of these allegations, the vehicle in which your husband and sons were traveling was shot up by unidentified men. Mr. Black and Johnny did not make it and Ben is in critical condition undergoing surgery as we speak.” Sergeant Laing added

Immediately, Patsy started to cry. As the words reached Adrianna’s ears it was as if her limbs had gone lifeless; the news was too much to bear.  “Mrs. Black we’d like you to come with us to the morgue and identify the bodies.” Sergeant Laing requested.

Adrianna tried to pray, but the words couldn’t come, all she felt was disappointment and anger. After returning from the morgue Patsy shouted angrily at Adrianna, “Your God doesn’t care about our family. If he cared as you like to talk, he wouldn’t allow your brother and father to die. He wouldn’t let those wicked people take two precious lives!”

“Mother please He does care. He hurts when his children suffer. But sad to say, mother, we have to live with the consequences of our choices. You taught me that mother. I’m sick and tired of you acting as if God has wronged you; don’t blame God for the things you fail to do!” Adrianna shouted, trying to convince herself at the same time.

At that moment a loud sound could be heard echoing throughout the entire room; Patsy had slapped Adrianna. Adrianna’s face had turned pink from the impact. “How could you?” Adrianna said running away from her mother.

Pasty was way too upset to even care.  At that moment she could hardly think straight, as waves of emotion took over and tears ran heavily down her cheeks.

----

The rest of the Saturday afternoon was spent in silence, suspense and anxiety as Adrianna and her mother waited for news about Ben. Adrianna started to feel bad for shouting at her mother, but she was too hurt to apologize.

By the time the news arrived the worst seemed inevitable. The doctor informed them that the bullet was lodged in Ben’s spine and he may never walk again. The news had left Patsy angrier than before. “Is God trying to punish me?” she thought.

When they returned to the house that evening it was empty; it was emptied of love, joy, a son, a brother, a husband and a father. It was now filled with anger, fear, grief, sadness, and confusion.  Adrianna and Patsy just sat in the living room for hours, both lost in their own thoughts.

“Mother, please forgive me I should not have shouted at you..............” Adrianna was the first one to break the silence.

At that moment tears came rushing down. Adrianna could no longer hold back the tears that she had kept at bay for the past few hours.

“What are we going to do? They are gone mom, they are gone! What will happen to Ben?”

 "Oh, baby...........!” Patsy cried as she held Adrianna as tight as she could. They both cried until there were no more tears left to cry.

-----

The next few days were spent going back and forth from the hospital. The death of Peter and Johnny was less than a nine-day wonder in Coolie Town; as the anticipation of Election Day and who will be the new Councillor occupied the minds of the residents. The persons whom Pasty considered her closet friends were so busy, that they did not even call and offer their condolences.

On Election Day Pasty felt so much pain and loneliness; the same people whom they had been campaigning with had abandoned her. After returning from the hospital that afternoon, the only visitors were from Adrianna’s church. They offered to sit and pray with Patsy but she refused. She did not want to see them or listen to anything they had to say, so she busied herself in the kitchen.

A few minutes later she heard a voice at the kitchen door, “Mrs. Black, excuse me, would you like any help?”  

“Ah! No.” Patsy snapped.

“Ok. If you ever need someone to talk with you can call me. I too lost my husband and son tragically a few years ago. Adrianna has my number. God will fix things, you just have to trust him.” the visitor encouraged as she returned to the living room. 

On hearing those words Patsy started to feel angry all over again. For the remainder of their visit, she did everything to avoid them.

Before leaving the Pastor came and expressed his sympathies; he then offered to take her to the hospital whenever she needed to. She was hesitant at first, but there was no one else, so she accepted.

Adrianna felt hopeful and comforted after the visit from her church family. The anger and pain that she felt started to slowly drift away.

Adrianna and her mother spent the rest of the evening in silence. The outcome of the election did not interest either of them in the least. That night Adrianna slept with her mother just to be close to her.

------

Coolie Town now had a new political representative and things were back to normal. Everyone had returned to their daily routine. For the Blacks family, however, things will never be the same.

 The next few months were the hardest for Adrianna and Patsy. Between repairing a strained relationship, going back and forth to the hospital, frequent visits from the police and the numerous assignments, Adrianna had a sense of peace she could not describe.   She was now getting frequent calls and prayers from her church family; each time they asked to speak with Patsy, she refused.

One morning Adrianna pleaded with her mother, “Will you come to church with me this once? Please!” 

“Adrianna, I don’t think so. I can’t go.” Patsy sighed

“Why?  God has been so good to us. Ben is still alive and things are looking up.” Adrianna said.

“Adrianna, you don’t understand. How can I face God? I have never trusted Him. I have been doing some serious thinking....”  Patsy replied as she pats Adrianna’s hand, “I’m too ashamed. You were right it is my fault.”

“Mother God can and will forgive you.”

Patsy muttered, “Do you think so? I have failed you as a mother and I was not even a good example for you and your brothers. If I didn’t pressure Peter maybe he would be here today. We should not have accepted those gifts. When they came to us for help to return to power we should refused to help. They told us no one will ever find out, nobody would get hurt. I thought I could make things better for us, I cheated and turned a blind eye.........”

She could not help it, but the tears just started to flow. “My son could be alive if I didn’t encourage him to take the deal. I just should have said, No! Even report it.  I can never forgive myself. ”  

 “Mother, I have already forgiven you and I know for a fact that God will forgive you if you just repent. I too felt guilty, but after talking with God and Pastor I feel free and forgiven. I miss Johnny and Peter so much; I would do anything to get them back. But what is done, can’t be undone mother, but God is working things out.  In all of this all we can learn from our mistakes.  

“Ah! Here I'm supposed to be the one giving advice, but hear my one daughter -wise beyond her age. Adrianna, it going to be hard, very hard............" Patsy sobs, “The pain is too much.”

“We can get through this together mom. Just do what I do- trust God and He will see us through.” Adrianna replies as she hugs her mother.

But what Patsy really wanted to do could not be heard by anyone.....................

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